


Faded Blue: Side Stories and Missing Scenes

by airamcg, CompletelyDifferent, Swordaperson



Series: How I Wonder What You Are [4]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Dimension Travel, F/F, F/M, Family, Fluff, Gen, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slavery, Time Travel For Angst and Profit, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-11
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-14 01:49:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 15,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11772969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/airamcg/pseuds/airamcg, https://archiveofourown.org/users/CompletelyDifferent/pseuds/CompletelyDifferent, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swordaperson/pseuds/Swordaperson
Summary: A collection of one-shots set in the Faded Blue continuity, where Steven is Blue Diamond's son.





	1. Talking [Canon]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rasticoresbride from Tumblr said:  
> I've read all your mom swap and I really love them right now I'm reading a gem a human and a baby I really love it I kinda wish you had done a chapter where Steven is learning to talk and calls Pearl ma ma

“Come on. Steven. Come one. Say ‘daddy’.”

Greg sat in a rocking chair with the small child on his lap, smiling brightly and talking very carefully at his son. Greg was holding on to either of Steven’s hands, raising them up and down to try and keep the young boy’s attention. Not that it was very hard. Steven always seemed to give you his undivided attention.

That, Pearl thought as she placed the sheet and blankets into Steven crib, was no surprise. No doubt it was a sign of his lineage. A Diamond’s attention was always sharp and direct.

“I’m your daddy, Steven. Dad-dy.” Steven remained silent, still looking up at him. He sighed lightly. “Guess Steven just isn’t ready to talk yet.”

There was sound of knocking, coming from the front of the apartment. Greg rose to his feet and stepped over to Pearl. “Here, Pearl, You take him while I get the door.” He handed her Steven and she took him carefully into her arms. He chuckled as he began to leave the room. “Hey, maybe you can get him to say ‘mommy’ while I’m gone.”

“Doubtful,” Pearl said as Greg left the room. She looked down at Steven, who was looking up at her from her arms. “I am not your ‘mommy’, my Steven. I am your Pearl. But you know this, of course.”

She began pacing around the room, still looking down at the child as he looked up at her. His bright blue eyes were wide and his mouth was slowly opening and closing.

Pearl had just turned away for a moment, when she heard a small voice say “Mom-Mom.”

Pearl’s gaze shot back down to him. “My Steven? Did… did you…?”

“Mom-Mom. Mom-Mom,” he repeated, over and over.

Pearl looked surprisedly at him, followed hurriedly looking the empty doorway. “G-Greg! I believe you are needed!”


	2. Maternal Instinct [Non-Canon]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We received this ask on tumblr: "A thought: Blue Diamond coming back somehow, and seeing Steven for the first time. (Because I love the idea of protective momma-Blue just holding him tight and crying tears of joy)"
> 
> So. Here ya go guys!  
> (Worth noting: this piece is non-canon)
> 
> Also, there are some **spoilerly warnings**. If you want to see them, please jump to the end notes.

Children.

When Blue Diamond learned of the idea, it had seemed like such a strange concept. Messy and inefficient, compared to the Gem method of reproduction. But the more she had learned, the more she had seen the beauty in it. The poetry, the _magic_. The ability to create: not just a copy, but something wholly new. Somebody who could be _better_ …

And she also noticed how Greg’s eyes lit up when he saw human children playing on the streets or in one the many parks around the city. And Blue Diamond began to feel something new, something burning inside herself as well.

Together, they had decided to have a child.

But… it hadn’t worked.

There had been tears after the stillbirth. Grieving. But Greg had moved on, saying at least he still had her. He had urged Blue Diamond to move on as well.

But she had refused.

She was _Blue Diamond_. Even fate itself could not push its will onto her.

It had been difficult. Unbelievably so. Digging into the most elusive of magic, the most restricted of her people’s technology, the things even the Diamonds avoided using, for the risk was too great. She had researched and built and labored, and she had done it.

Erased an entire timeline from existence, to create one where her child had _lived_.

But she had arrived only to find out that her precious child, _the heir to the Diamonds_ , was being held captive by the murderous rebels.

She felt surprisingly calm as she was told this news. No rage or anger, just a piercing certainty.

This would not stand.

She arrived on the beach where the Crystal Gem’s base was located as the new day dawned. Her Pearl was at her side, her Lapis Lazuli at her shoulder, and a wave at her back. On the sand below was Greg, staring up and up and up, uncomprehending.

"Blue! Is that— How are you— what—?!"

"I'm here, Greg. I'm real. And I'm saving our son.”

He blinked at her, teary eyed, and then wrapped himself around her leg. Despite everything, Blue Diamond smiled. She let the energy from her gem surge through her, feeling herself shrinking. Once they were near-equal heights, she embraced him back, breathing in his sweet, unique scent.

However, it was but a moment, and it could not last.

“Stay here where it will be safe,” she told him, but Greg refused. He wanted to be there for his son. Foolish, but Blue Diamond could feel nothing but touched at his sentimentality.

He at least promised to stand behind her. “And… Blue…” he said. “Look, I know what they did— but please... be gentle with them? As much as you can. They could have been so much worse…”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” said Blue Diamond, and she swept up the beach.

At the entrance of the cave, she saw him. Huddled inside a cage, kept there like an animal.

Misery swept through her. Misery and the once delayed anger.

The Rose Quartz and her stolen Pearl were the ones there, tormenting her son. They had a moment to looked surprised, fearful, before her powers hit. The wave of pure emotion struck them and their faces crumpled with tears.

They tried to fight despite it, but they were unprepared.

Blue Diamond shot one bolt of lightning, then two, then three. Rose Quartz deflected all with her shield. The Lapis Lazuli came in with a wave of water from the side, enough to throw the rebel leader off-balance. The next arc of lightning hit true, and the traitors collapsed to the ground, sobbing.

Reinforcements came out. A stunted Amethyst, and a hybrid fusion— the _first_ hybrid fusion.

They were easily dealt with. Even if the fusion showed remarkable resilience to her lightning, there was no resisting the weight of the entire ocean. In short order, Lapis Lazuli had all of them frozen to the walls of the cave.

Blue Diamond looked at her, admiringly. She would not have thought a Lazuli could have such combat capabilities. She would be handsomely rewarded for her fine services this day. Perhaps her own Pearl even.

With the dust (and water) of battle dying down, Blue Diamond turned away from the rebels. There was the cage, its bars now cut open wide and its captive stepping slowly out.

Blue Diamond stared down at him, the young boy who looked up at her with familiar eyes. They were Greg’s eyes, warm and human, but but colored as her own, bright and piercing blue. She felt _her_ eyes well up with tears— not sadness, but happiness, the most intense happiness imaginable.

"M-Mom?" he stammered in a voice much too small for a person of his station. But that simply made her smile softly at him.

There would be much to teach him.

"Yes. Steven, it- Yes. I am Blue Diamond." Her voice dropped in volume at the last words. "Your mother."

She swept forward. He was small, so much smaller than her, even in this reduced form. She picked him up and cradled him to her chest.

The warmth he pressed into her chest was soothing.

“How…” he breathed. “How are you here?”

She brushed the hair out of his face— he flinched a little at the foreign touch. “There will be time for explanations,” she said. “For now, we need to get you out of here. And I want to know everything about you. Pearl and Lazuli have told me a little, but there is so much to catch up on…”

Greg’s hand touched her arm. “We’ll tell you everything Blue, I promise. But right now…”

He trailed off, his gaze shifting to the captives. They were screaming and screaming, the most unpleasant of sounds.

Blue Diamond felt her expression drop as she stared at Rose Quartz. _The_ Rose Quartz, the shatterer of Pink Diamond. It would be so easy to shatter _her_ , as she rightly deserved. Not just for the crime against her own Diamond, but _daring_ to lay a single finger on her son.

Steven squirmed in her arms. Blue Diamond looked down at him.

“Please,” he said. “Please— don’t hurt them.” Her eyebrows flashed upwards. “They’re… they’re not that bad, they were going to let me go…”

“Were they now.”

“Yes,” said Rose Quartz. “Blue Diamond— I do not know how you are here, but we have no quarrel with your child!”

 _“Liar!”_ hissed the Lapis Lazuli. ”You attacked us! When we wanted nothing to do with you!”

Blue Diamond stared down at her child. His lips were trembling; he looked terrified. It was not an expression befitting a Diamond.

But he was not wholly a Diamond. He was part human. Humans had different perspectives on these things, human children especially. And Rose Quartz was charismatic, dangerously so. That was how she had caused such dissent to grow. Blue Diamond should not have been surprised that her corrupting influence had found a way to seep into her son’s mind.

But she could not allow Steven to be poisoned any further.

Carefully, Blue Diamond placed her son on the floor, reached out and squeezed Greg’s hand.

“Do not worry, my loves,” she reassured them both. “We shall hold a trial, and ensure that _proper_ justice is served.”

* * *

It was impossible to have a true, proper trial without a Zircon on hand, but Blue Diamond did her best in their absence.

Rose Quartz was the leader, the instigator, and hers was held first.

“How did you do it?” Blue Diamond demanded. She had seen the Visions, of course, but she still didn’t understand. How could someone turn against their own creator? How could this shallow-strata Gem destroy a Diamond? How could she have ended someone as wonderful as Pink?

Rose Quartz could not— would not—  give the answers Blue Diamond wanted. She was struck with lightning, again and again and again, until she was left shaking in her restraints, crying and moaning, saying _I’m sorry, I’m sorry, there was no other option._

It was a disgusting display to be sure. Even Blue Diamond had thought that Rose Quartz would have had more dignity than that.

Again and again, Blue Diamond asked for the truth. Again and again, Rose Quartz refused to give it.

She needed one last motivation. Blue Diamond picked up the gem of the traitor Pearl in her hand, held it up high.

Rose Quartz cried, “No!”

“Then tell me,” demanded Blue Diamond.

“Blue,” whispered Greg.

 _“Mom!”_ Steven cried, pulling on her robe. “Mom, please—!”

“I don’t know what to tell you,” said Rose Quartz. “I don’t know—”

Blue Diamond clenched her fist.

Pearls were soft, delicate things. This one didn’t break into shards. She became dust, a silvery glitter. Blue Diamond wiped it away on her robe, never taking her eyes of the traitor’s leader.

Rose Quartz sobbed and sobbed, and while Blue Diamond still got no truth out of her, she got a sliver of satisfaction in knowing she’d repaid at least part of the hurt Rose Quartz had dealt her.

She could have shattered Rose Quartz too, but that would have been too good a fate.

“Lock her away,” she said to Pearl, “until I think of a fitting punishment for her.”

She already had an idea. Corruption. Of course, it could not be managed by her alone; but she had a second Diamond. Perhaps, in time, he could learn to sing the Song.

* * *

Next to be shattered was the Ruby.

“No, no, no,” Steven said, crying in earnest now, throwing himself in front of the Ruby’s gem. “Mom, you can’t— her fusing was a mistake!”

“The first time, perhaps. However she choose to continue it for the next five thousand years.”

Steven looked down, wiped his eye on his sleeve. “But…”

He was kind. So kind.

 _Too_ kind.

He needed things explained gently and carefully.

“It was a mistake, but an unforgivable one,” she said softly. “If Sapphire’s original prediction had came true, then the rebellion would have ended then and there. Instead, the very course of time was irredeemably damaged. Every Gem who was shattered or hurt in the War is on this Ruby’s shoulders.”

He tried to fight back when she pulled him away, but he was still not yet very strong. The fighting spirit was admirable, if misplaced.

Blue Diamond made the shattering quick, on his behalf.

* * *

Greg’s face had turned a shade of green. Blue Diamond looked at him curiously. In her years on Earth, it was not a color she had ever seen on either him or _any_ other human exhibit.

“This isn’t right, Blue,” he said. “What you’re doing— killing these people—”

“They hurt our son, Greg.”

“I know, but—”

“There are no buts. You are a human musician. Talented, yes. But you know not the requirements of leadership. These Gems must be punished for their crimes.”

He shook his head. He was shaking, trembling all over. His cheeks were wet. His eyes were wide, and he was staring off at nothing.

“I never thought…” he whispered. “This… this isn’t the person I fell in love with… This isn’t you.”

Blue Diamond reached out, and wiped his tears away.

She hated to see him like this. Hated breaking that sweet, simple picture he’d built of her in his head.

But it was sadly time for him to learn.

* * *

Next on trial was the Sapphire.

Again, Steven argued in the rebel’s defense.

“She’s a _Sapphire_ ,” he said. “She’s— really rare, right? And valuable? It would be… wasteful, shattering her. There has to be some sort of— sentence she can serve, or _something_.”

So practical. So able to find logical arguments to support his desires. Blue flooded with pride.

White would like him, she was sure. It would be good, when the two could finally meet.

“Very well,” Blue Diamond said. She turned to the Sapphire, who stood before her. Her hands were bound, but that hardly seemed to matter. She had trapped herself, frozen in ice so thick that she couldn’t move, even if she tried. “Sapphire, you betrayed me and your people. Nonetheless, you served me loyally for centuries. As such, I am willing to give you one more chance. Pledge yourself to me, and you may rejoin my Court.”

The Sapphire’s voice was as cold as the ice that encased her. “Never.”

“Please,” Steven begged of her. “I’m trying to help you— just accept it—”

“What’s the point, without Ruby?” she whispered, her voice beginning to break. “Without Pearl, or Rose…”

Even though the Sapphire rejected redemption, Blue Diamond still granted her the kindness every proper Gem yearned for, a chance to be useful. She asked Pearl to find something that could be used to see.

Pearl paused in consideration; after a moment she said, “Yes, my Diamond.”

She vanished into the Palanquin. A few moments later, she reappeared with a human device. Taking it, Blue Diamond turned it over in her hands. Binoculars. A simple system of lenses used to view objects from long distances. Greg had given it to her for birdwatching.

It would do.

It took a tricky bit of inticrate handwork, a little bit of research into the files stored on her ship. But her Pearl was competent, and had delicate fingers. It didn’t take too long to fuse the Sapphire’s gemstone into the binoculars’s carapace. Blue Diamond held the device up to her eyes and stared through. The view it showed was altered: the same landscape, but the lighting changed from day to night. A few fireflies buzzed in the darkness.

Smiling, she held it out to Steven, who took it with trembling hands.

“It provides short-range future vision,” Blue Diamond said. “It won’t be nearly as sophisticated or long-term as an autonomous Sapphire would be, but it will be reliable. It is yours, Steven. Use it well.”

It was her first gift to her child. Just the thought left her feeling warm, deep in her core. Belatedly, she realized that she may have skipped some protocols— didn’t humans like wrapping presents in shiny paper and bows?

Oh well. There would be many more gifts in the future. She’d do it better next time.

* * *

When it came to the Amethyst, Steven flat out refused to let it continue.

He stood between her and his mother, fists curled. Light spilled out from beneath his shirt. His skin crackled with lightning. Blue Diamond could _feel_ his sadness, furious and fierce, and was touched by it.

He said the Amethyst was innocent. That she had never fought in the War. That she’d emerged late, and had only joined the Crystal Gems because she had known nothing else. The story fit the Quartz’s small stature, and the sobbed explanations she gave underneath the lightning’s influence.

"We are Diamonds, Steven. Our judgement is swift and precise. But... so is our mercy. This Amethyst was as much a prisoner of the rebels as you were. Despite her defect, she will make a fine soldier for your Court."

* * *

Steven felt like he was in a daze. Twelve hours ago, he’d been about to go free. Now his Mom was alive, and other Gems were captured or dead in his place, and he felt like he was going to vomit.

His mother— Blue Diamond— had pushed Amethyst towards him. Ordered her to salute. She had refused.

“No,” she said. “I hate you, I hate both of you, I’ll never—”

The lightning struck.

“You do not talk that way to your Diamond,” Mom’s voice rang out, sharp and painful. “It is time for you to learn the true way of things. You are a Quartz soldier, and a defective one at that. Your place is one of loyalty and pure obedience. Do you understand?”

It took a few more strikes, but eventually, Amethyst nodded. Mutely, she got to her feet. Saluted. She did not look Steven in the eye.

Mom said Amethyst couldn’t stayed clothed like that. That it was unfitting. That she needed to wear a blue diamond symbol, in declaration of her new loyalty.

She gave Steven a knife, and told him to disintegrate her form.

Steven took the blade. He stared at Amethyst. The Gem that helped held him captive. Who’d laughed at him from behind bars. Who’d taught him how to shape-shift. Who’d kept him from falling off the Cloud Arena. Who liked to eat pizza boxes.

Steven closed his eyes. He couldn’t do it.

“Oh dear,” he heard his Mom sigh. “Well, never mind that for now. Pearl, take care of this.”

Steven opened his eyes and looked up as he felt Pearl draw close. Her hair had been pushed back, and he caught her gaze. For a moment, she looked as if she wanted to nothing more than to run over to him and give him a hug.

But the moment passed and she gave Mom a salute.  
  
"Yes, my Diamond."

And like that, it was done. Amethyst didn’t have time to scream. Steven picked up her gemstone from the grass.

“Thank the stars that’s over with,” Mom said. She reached out and ruffled Steven’s hair. “I imagine you’re hungry after all of that. Let us go into the Palanquin and get some food. I assume it’s stocked with provisions for you. What kind of meals do you like, Steven? I know your father’s partial to pizza, perhaps we can get that…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings for** : character death, canon typical violence, torture, mind manipulation, grief, and slavery


	3. Love Like You [Non-Canon]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on the prompt: Here's a question. Would Faded Blue be any different if some version of the mostly (entirely?) defunct "Rose is Pink Diamond" theory were true?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Rose is Pink Diamond theory. I was very fond of you, back in the day. I absolutely love what we got instead, but it was fun to revisit you, nonetheless.
> 
> The background of this story was heavily inspired by the piece "[Adámas](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6111214)" by LadyRavenEye.

The dawn of a new day rose on the countryside of the place humans currently called Beach City. A dark silhouette stood outlined by the rising sun, a smaller silhouette at her side. From the other direction came another pair, soft pinks and whites.

Blue Diamond looked across at Rose Quartz.

Neither could believe the other had come.

As the two pairs approached, Blue Diamond forced to keep her face cold, impassive. Rose Quartz tried too, but didn’t succeed. Her lips trembled, and her eyes were filled with a dozen emotions— fear, anger, discomfort, and above all else, hope.

The Pearl at Rose Quartz’s side was merely angry. “Why are you here?”

Blue Diamond raised her eyebrows, but otherwise did not acknowledge the Pearl.

Rose Quartz’s grip on her sword hilt tightened. “If you truly wish to speak to me, you will speak to her too.”

Blue Diamond pressed her lips together.

 _Distasteful_.

But she _did_ want to speak to Rose Quartz. That was why she’d had her Pearl arrange this meeting, wasn’t it?

“Very well,” Blue Diamond said. “I’m here to talk.”

The renegade Pearl scoffed. “And then shatter us all, I’m sure.”

“Hardly,” Blue Diamond said, but for once she could not discredit the Pearl’s overly dramatic imagination. It was a fair assumption. She knew what her fellow Diamonds wanted done to this planet. “I have come to Earth alone, aside from my Pearl. No one else knows I am here.”

Rose Quartz regarded her. “And you came here… for me?”

“I came here for Pink.”

Rose Quartz’s face hardened. “Pink Diamond is gone. You made that perfectly clear yourself.”

Blue Diamond opened her mouth in an angry retort— only to cut herself off. No. No. She’d come here to at least try to understand. Maybe that was impossible. But she couldn’t ruin this, not yet.

“I _came_ here for Pink Diamond. To grieve for her.” She closed her eyes against the burn of tears, the burn that still came strong after nearly five thousand years. “But… I stayed for someone else.. A human.”

Both Rose Quartz and the Pearl blinked in surprise.

“He comforted me. Told me he understood. And… I decided to stay. He shared the planet with me, its animals, and trees, and cities, and…” Blue Diamond laid a hand on her stomach. “I think… I think I understand now. Why— why you did it.”

“I… see…” said Rose Quartz, slowly.

“Well, _I_ don’t,” said Pearl. She held her head up proud, holding her spear aloft, as if ready to fight at any moment. “You honestly expect us to believe that after leading a war to _exterminate_ their species, you decided to start caring about them, just like that?”

“I don’t expect _you_ to understand,” said Blue Diamond.

“Of _course_ you don’t,” said the Pearl, rolling her eyes.

Blue Diamond considered her words. Maybe the Pearl did understand. After all, she’d fought for this planet. It had always been assumed to be out of loyalty for her Master, but perhaps it had gone beyond that.

Blue Diamond didn’t voice her thoughts on the matter. It was irrelevant.

“This planet is… beautiful,” said Blue Diamond. “The humans here— they’re intelligent, and welcoming, and fascinating… And I understand now. I understand why you fought back.”

“Oh _Blue_ ,” Rose Quartz sighed. “You have no idea how long I wished to hear you say those words.” She shook her head. “But there’s still so much you don’t understand.

“It wasn’t just about humans. Never just about them.”

“I know,” said Blue Diamond, and her own voice was warbling, and she hated it. “I know. We didn’t give you much choice. We attacked you, we lashed out at you—”

She could remember, with perfect clarity, that dreadful day. That deep, deep crack in Pink Diamond’s gem. The pain on her face, the way her body had flickered in-and-out of existence. The tears of her Gems echoing across the entire planet, unmatched only by the tears of her fellow Diamonds, who knew what must come next.

But Pink had been young, and defiant, and she had said, _I think there is another way_.

It had been shocking. Shameful. Sacrilegious.

 _Cut me down_.

Theoretically, it was possible. Some preliminary experiments had been conducted, showing that a gem’s lattice structure meant that while a single cut could be deeply damaging, if you found the right way to reshape it, you could salvage it. The gem would be smaller, weaker, but fully functioning.

 _It wouldn’t be you,_ Yellow had said.

 _But I’d be alive,_ Pink had argued.

 _Better dead than not a Diamond,_ White had proclaimed.

And so it had been forbidden.

But Pink had been rebellious, even then. She had found a single Gem still loyal to her, the single Pearl willing to risk the certain shattering she would’ve received for willingly defiling Diamond’s gem.

The three remaining Diamonds had discovered this treachery. Glared down at the result. Too small, too small by far. Everything misshapen. The pentagonal cut, the bulky body, the frivolous dress, the wild hair—

They had cast her out.

Of course the new being had been angry. Of course she had turned against them. Of course she’d wanted revenge—

“It was wrong of us,” Blue Diamond sobbed, in the present. “Even then— even then, I wondered and wondered if what we were doing was wrong— but the others, they told me Pink was gone, that you were nothing but an insult to her memory, that you had to be destroyed… But I missed Pink so much, I never stopped missing her, and when I found out— found out you were still alive…”

“I am,” said Rose Quartz. “But Pink Diamond has been gone for a long, long time.”

Blue Diamond sobbed.

“But I never stopped missing you either,” said Rose Quartz. “Even in the depths of war— even when I hated you, even when I was furious, I—”

“You were right to be furious. What we did to you was terrible,” said Blue Diamond.

Rose Quartz shook her head, tears flowing silently down her face. “That’s not what I’m angry about.”

“It’s… not?” Blue Diamond stared. “But we— we tried to have you shattered.”

“I am hardly the only Gem the Diamonds have tried to shatter.”

Blue Diamond backed away. “Yes, but none of them are— or were— a Diamond...”

“No. They were just Gems.”

“Just… Gems…” Blue Diamond repeated, not comprehending.

“Just Gems,” said the Pearl, stepping forward. “Pearls silently trailing behind masters, Bismuths toiling away all day, Rubies rushing into battle, Topazes mindlessly following orders. Just Gems, all of them, all obediently serving the Diamond Authority, and getting absolutely _nothing_ in return.”

“Nothing?” Blue Diamond cried. “We give them protection! Purpose! _Life_!”

The Pearl’s eyes flashed. “And what if they don’t want _that_ life?”

“And what if you don’t have a _purpose_ ?” said Rose Quartz. “That was me. Nowhere to go, no place in the order. And suddenly I could see all the things Pink Diamond never could. Or never wanted to. How poorly we treat our own people— forcing them into prescribed roles, punishing them for the slightest disobedience…” She was staring at Blue Diamond, or through her. “I asked you to change. I asked _all_ of you, again and again and again. You ignored me. You fought harder and harder. And then you destroyed the minds of every Gem on this planet.”

“They—” began Blue Diamond. _They don’t matter._

Because they didn’t. They _couldn’t_. Every Gem had a place, every Gem a duty, and those who abandoned that duty didn’t have the right to be a Gem.

But what of her?

She was a Diamond. A Diamond’s duty was to lead.

She was leaving that duty behind.

Blue Diamond began to cry.

Softly at first, then harder and harder, hard enough that her whole body shook. Her gem didn’t glow, her emotions didn’t spill outwards; it wasn’t that kind of sadness. This was a sadness that turned inward, strange and indescribable—

She was very aware of Rose Quartz and the Pearl staring at her, bewildered.

And then the Pearl’s eyes sharpened.

Her spear moved quickly that Blue Diamond could hardly react, and then it was pressed against her gem, so close that it would take just one quick jab to…

Blue Diamond didn’t move. She could have, of course. It would have been easy to destroy a single wayward Pearl. But she decided that just now, waiting might be a wiser course of action.

“How _dare_ you?” the Pearl demanded. “How dare you come here, start crying? You have no right to be upset! It’s your fault you lost your ‘precious’ Pink Diamond.

 _We_ didn’t have any choice. I have lost hundreds of friends because of you! Thousands of good Gems! We did our jobs, and you killed them. We fought against you, and you killed them. We tried to negotiate, and you killed them!”

“ _Pearl_ ,” said Rose Quartz. Blue Diamond looked to her, and saw that while her expression was pained, she was making no move to to hold the Pearl back.

“No,” the Pearl snapped. “Tell me, Blue Diamond, why shouldn’t I shatter you right now?”

Blue Diamond stared at her.

The spear inched forward.

“Why?”

“B— because— you wouldn’t be shattering me. Or not just me.”

The Pearl’s expression tightened with suspicion, Rose Quartz’s with confusion, and Blue Diamond tried to find the right words. She tried, and she struggled, but all she could feel was that same sadness, that same fear— a fear unrelated to the weapon only inches away from her gem—

“R— Rose Quartz,” she managed. “Were you… scared? When you became you?”

A moment of silence. “Terrified,” she admitted.

“And— did it hurt?”

“More than anything I’ve ever experienced.”

“ _Oh._ ”

“But it was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.”

Blue Diamond had nothing to say to that. She just let her tears try out, as she stared down at her own swollen stomach.

“Blue Diamond,” said Rose Quartz, softly. “Are you cracked?”

“Does it _look_ like I am?” Blue Diamond snapped, with a misaimed surge of anger.

“No,” said Rose Quartz quietly. “I was simply wondering…”

She trailed off, and there was silence. Or as silent as it could ever be on Earth, which was always filled with soft background noises. The swish of wind; the rustle of grasses; the caw of birds in the air.

It was so beautiful. Blue wanted to be a part of it.

“I’m pregnant,” she said.

There were sounds of pure disbelief from the Crystal Gems. Splutters of how that was impossible, how could that happen, it didn’t make sense…

Blue Diamond let them get through it. Then she explained it all, simply and plainly.

“We can’t both exist,” Blue Diamond said. “I shall give the child my gemstone; I will become half of them. As to what happens next… I do not know. They will have their human father to look after them, and my Pearl, but... “ She looked at Rose Quartz. “They will need guidance. On how to be a Diamond, but not. Would you…?”

Rose Quartz approached, and tentatively, reached out a hand. Blue Diamond nodded at her; felt the softness of her hand on the belly. From inside, there was a gentle kick. Rose smiled despite the tears, and said in a soft, unsteady voice, “Of course, Blue.”


	4. Counterpart [Non-Canon]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on the prompt: "Faded Blue Bloop meets Little Rebellions Bloop"
> 
> For those who don't know, [Little Rebellions](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5951614/chapters/13680055) is a story by Completely Different, which explores the lives and problems of Homeworld Pearls. While familiarity helps, it doesn't need to be read to understand the following story; you just need to know it has a very different interpretation of Blue Pearl. 

The chamber was dark, and cold, and silent, and filled with looming shadows.

Outside it was loud. Pearl could feel the vibrations through the floor— the shudder of explosions, the roar of flames, the panic of screams being cut off—

_How many Gems were still standing?_

Pearl shook her head. Couldn’t think about that. Had to keep moving.

She went deeper and deeper into the darkness.

Her intel had been good. It was right where she’d been told it would be. A little thing, an antique. An hourglass, all fine silver metal that glowed dimly, its inside filled with sapphire dust…

_Would it work?_

Yes. It would. But there was a very good chance that it would work in the same way as a mass-driver bomb.

Pearl pressed her eyes closed. Could she really do this? There was a reason not even the Diamonds dared dabble with time travel. A single ill-placed change, and everything could become so, _so_ much worse than you could possibly imagine.

 **_Nothing_ ** _can be worse than this._

Too many tortured. Too many shattered. Too many _lost_.

And it shouldn’t have had to be. That was the worse part. The civil war had been brutal, but rebellion could have won. It nearly had.

But the Diamonds would not allow for that. So rather than lose, they had broken the board.

_How many Gems were still standing? Surely no more than a hundred, in the whole galaxy..._

Pearl could save all of them. Make it so it never happened.

An explosion nearly knocked her to her feet. The distant screaming grew louder.

She hardened her resolve. Her people were depending on her. She _had_ to do this. There was no other option.

She held the hourglass to her chest, letting it touch her gem. She closed her eyes and thought: _Change this. Rewrite this existence. Give me one where it didn’t go wrong. Where I didn’t lead us all to our own destruction. Where I can still make things_ **_better_** _._

All noise cut out. All sight, all sensation. Except— except Pearl could still feel everything rushing past her, like she was moving at impossible speeds, yet floating in a void, winds sweeping past her, and through her, or her through them. She didn’t seem to have a body or a form at all, she could _see_ things, entire worlds, entire nebulae, entire galaxies, just for instants-- could-have-beens and might-have-beens, too huge to comprehend, to grasp, to remember— It went on and on and on for eternity, and for no time at all and then—

— it stopped.

There was wind. A normal wind, soft and gentle, carrying a scent she vaguely remembered. There was light. Normal, simple light from a yellow sun. The ground under her feet was springy. There were sounds in the background, soft, sweet sounds, and the suddenness of it was shocking.

Slowly, gradually, Pearl began to recognise the things around her. Trees. Grass. Birds. Insects.

_Earth?_

She had not been on Earth in millennia, and certainly never alone in its wilderness. Thankfully, she did not have time to become overwhelmed before she saw something familiar, grounding.

Blue Diamond’s Palanquin.

Pearl’s relief was short-lived. If the Palanquin was here, then no doubt so was its owner. Straining her ears, Pearl could hear it: Blue Diamond’s Song. It was strangely faint, but Pearl had spent her entire life in its presence, always wary of it, and it was unmistakeable.

It was accompanied by the sound of footsteps.

She had to get out of here.

In her hands was the hourglass-- or the remains of it. Its bulb was broken. The stress of the reality alteration had clearly damaged it. Glass shards littered the grass below, and the sapphire dust was pouring out. Pearl frowned at it. Messy. Suspicious. But no time to clean or hide it.

On light feet, she headed for the treeline. Earth was good for hiding. It took her only moments to find a suitable bush to crouch behind, one which would block her from view, but still allow her to peer through the branches. It even offered enough cover to store the hourglass’s remains in her gem.

Looking out through the leaves, a figure came into sight.

She was short, chubby, dressed in blue clothing of an unfamiliar style. At first, Pearl assumed her to be one of the Earth’s dominant species, a human. But she had not survived so long by assuming, and when she paid closer attention— she noticed the figure was the source of Blue Diamond’s Song.

_Impossible._

But it wasn’t. As the being bent down to inspect the sapphire dust, Pearl spotted a blue point of a gem sticking out from beneath the being’s clothes. _Blue Diamond’s_ gem.

Pearl could have shook her head from confusion. What— what was this timeline? In this universe, had they found a way to trap Blue Diamond in a weak, ineffective body?

There wasn’t any time to think this over, because Blue Diamond was now _coming closer_.

No chance to retreat deeper into the underbrush. Pearl was quiet, but she wasn’t _that_ quiet. Any movement would surely disturb the leaves, bushes, and sticks, drawing Blue Diamond even closer. It might make the bird chirping overhead take flight. So instead, Pearl took refuge where she always had: stillness.

It didn’t work. Blue Diamond stepped into the undergrowth, pushed aside the bushes, and stared right up at her. “Pearl?”

Pearl said nothing. Not yet. Wait and see.

“What're you doing here?” Blue Diamond asked.

“Hiding.”

Blue Diamond raised an eyebrow. “Hiding? From… what?”

Pearl pointed up to the singing bird.

“... why?”

“It frightened me.”

Blue Diamond raised her eyebrows. “You’re scared… of Nari?”

Nari. Perhaps a type of bird. Pearl nodded.

“O…kay. Well, Nari’s not gonna hurt you. Why don’t you come out?”

In her mind, Pearl was smiling. This strange Blue Diamond did not appear angry or suspicious at all. And of course, why would she? Pearls were so easily frightened, after all. Of course she’d gone hiding in the bushes.

It would be easy to slip into this timeline.

As Pearl stepped out of the bushes, Blue Diamond asked, “What’s that blue stuff on the ground, d’you think?” pointing at the sapphire dust.

“I could not say,” Pearl murmured, which was true enough.

This Blue Diamond was strange. She did not press about the sapphire dust, even though it should have been a fairly easy deduction to make. Instead she just shrugged, laid down on the grass some distance away, and asked Pearl to join her. Pearl complied. Blue Diamond took out a book and began to draw. She spoke very little, giving Pearl time to think, to observe her surroundings, and consider them. Had Blue Diamond returned to this planet to grieve? If so, she did not seem very sad. Perhaps things had gone very, very different in this timeline.

“What d’you think Pearl?” Blue Diamond asked, holding up the book she was drawing in. There was a quite-realistic picture of what appeared to be an extremely rudimentary wheeled vehicle.

_Very different indeed._

“It is very nice, my Diamond.”

Despite the compliment, Blue Diamond frowned. She opened her mouth to say something, but was cut off by another voice.

“Steven! Lunch is prepared!”

The voice was a Pearl’s voice.

Pearl turned towards it, because Blue Diamond had, and so it would not be seen as suspicious.

The Pearl coming out of the palanquin looked like her. Same hair, same color, same gem-placement.

This was not immediately shocking. There were many Pearls in the galaxies which had been modelled after her, by Gems emulating the fashion of their Diamond. Pearl herself had been an exact duplicate of an untold number of predecessors.

But then Pearl watched as her counterpart’s mouth dropped open.

And she heard it.

It was like an echo-- but no, echoes came after the original. This _Song_ was playing in time with hers, like two instruments in such perfect harmony that you couldn’t even determine the difference unless you focused on it.

This Pearl’s song was the same as her own.

This Pearl was her.

* * *

_If you’re captured, reveal nothing._

If the rebellion had had formal rules, that would have been rule one. And Pearl would not betray it.

Blue Diamond and the Alternate Pearl interrogated her, and with every question, Pearl played dumb. Innocent. Confused.

“Where did you come from?”

_The ground._

“Which Kindergarten?”

_I do not know._

“Why were you spying on us?”

_I was not spying._

“You were watching me from the bushes.”

_I was hiding. I was scared._

“But were you sent by Homeworld?”

_Homeworld?_

“Who’s your owner?”

_I have no owner._

This Blue Diamond continued to perplex. She did not get angry. As the interrogation went on, she wore an expression of increasing concern and confusion. Pearl did not trust this. Not for one moment. There was an angle there. A lie. A trap, a trick.

But she had her own tricks. It would only be a matter of time before Pearl found a way to escape. Blue Diamond had not hurt her, and neither had this Alternate Pearl, for all that she had brandished a knife. They underestimated her. As long as she had her body, she would be able to find a time when she wasn’t under surveillance, a chance to run.

But then the Lapis Lazuli arrived, and held her in a bubble of water.

“I know you are lying,” Alternate Pearl said, voice very soft. “No Kindergartens have been functional on Earth for millennia, and no Pearl farms were ever established here in the first place.”

Pearl said nothing. This was all true. She had heard it all from overhearing her Diamonds’ meetings.

She had realized, in the back of her mind, that Alternate Pearl must have too.

But she hadn’t expected her counterpart to use it against her.

Alternate Pearl held the knife up and continued. “You were not made on this planet, which means you came here somehow. And somehow, you have my song. We will find out how, and why.”

“Pearl,” Blue Diamond said, tugging on Alternate Pearl’s sheer skirt. “I think you’re scaring her.”

Alternate Pearl said nothing. Pearl knew she was staring at her through thick hair.

The questioning continued for some time. Eventually the Lazuli sighed. “We’re not getting anything out of her.” She shook her head. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but maybe we should bring her over to Rose Quartz.”

 _Rose Quartz?_ Pearl thought.

“Rose Quartz?” Blue Diamond echoed.

Lazuli shrugged. “The Crystal Gems have a way with runaway Gems.”

_The Crystal Gems._

Pearl did not believe it. Or she _could not_ , until she was brought before rebel leader herself.

 _Had she betrayed the cause?_ Pearl wondered.

But no. There was no diamond emblem on her form, and in its place was that single, iconic star.

But still, Pearl did not trust her. For her entire life, silence had been her greatest protection, and it was not one that she would give up so easily.

Until another figure stepped out of the Crystal Gem base; a spear in one hand, an oblong white gem at her temple.

The Renegade.

* * *

Over five thousand years ago, Pearl was offered an outstretched hand and a choice.

In one lifetime, Pearl had looked away.

But in another, she had looked the Renegade in the eyes.

“You will need information from the inside. I can provide it.”

* * *

That had been Pearl’s life, during the War. To all appearances, a silent, dutiful figure, the perfect specimen. She was at her Diamond’s side at all times, never speaking, always listening.

She found ways to smuggle her information out. Sometimes in person— exhilarating and terrifying treks into the Earthen landscape, stealing away on warp pads, sneaking between trees— a chance to surround herself with fellow rebels. More often, especially as the centuries wore on, through other messengers. Quietly exchanged whispers or holograms, maps exchanged in passing, a hand signal or brush of skin.

Pearl passed on everything she could. Battle plans, construction locations, Gem production numbers, weapon delivery dates, star maps, the rumors circulating around Homeworld. She listened out for sympathizers, and helped them escape or defect. She helped change the course of the rebellion. Battles were won on the details she supplied. She helped secure victory, secure the planet Earth!

And then, in a single flash of light, that victory had been stolen.

* * *

 

It could have ended there. Perhaps it should have.

Pearl had longed for it. Oh, so many times. It would have been easy. The rebellion had failed, and surely that was more than enough proof that Homeworld’s ideals were the right ones. Every Gem a duty, every duty a Gem...

She could have been a Pearl again. She could have been a silent, dutiful figure, the perfect specimen.

But she’d decided to keep fighting.

It had been a long, slow, arduous progress. After the Crystal Gems’ defeat, no one wanted to step out of line. Too much fear, too much uncertainty.

But Pearl had listened. She had schemed, and planned, and reached out. She’d helped smuggle defects to safety. Helped hide illicit fusions from discovery. Helped sway the outcome of trials by altering evidence.

Over the course of millennia, she’d built up a network. Another rebellion, seeping into the very foundation of Homeworld society, reaching out its tendrils, ready to pull it all down.

And they had.

They _had_.

But the Diamonds were not ones to accept defeat.

It had all fallen down. _All of it_.

* * *

So in one final, desperate move, Pearl had tried to repair all that had been broken.

* * *

Pearl told these Crystal Gems-- these few miraculously surviving Crystal Gems. She told them everything, and eventually, they believed it.

* * *

Pearl figured out the events of the Alternate Pearl’s life in bits and pieces, through implications and deductions.

She had rejected the Renegade’s offer. She’d remained the perfect Pearl.

She had given the Crystal Gems no information, no battle plans, no supplies. The Crystal Gems had fought on despite that, and fought well.

But they had still lost.

* * *

“What was even the point?” Pearl wondered allowed one night, staring up at the stars. “All my spying, my scheming? It was all for naught.”

“It wasn’t,” said the Renegade.

“Do not give me false flattery, Pearl. I can see quite plainly I mattered very little to your rebellion, and that I mattered too much to my own. What was the point, if all I did was lead my people to devastation?”

The Renegade did not answer. Merely looked away, her face grim.

Rose Quartz was the one who met Pearl’s eyes. They were usually so light, so joyful, but just then, there were familiar shadows in their depths. She said, “The point was we  _tried_.”

* * *

Serving at Blue Diamond’s side was one of tedium and monotony and inescapable sadness. It had worn away at Pearl, threatening to dissolve her into nothing.

Her rebellion was what she had clung to. It had been terrifying and stressful and painful, but it also had been glorious, and those emotions had burned in her core, completely and utterly _hers_.

Pearl wondered what had kept the Alternate Pearl going all those years, had kept herself from simply eroding away.

* * *

Pearl had fought and fought and fought for her independence from Blue Diamond, and in the end, never truly won it.

Alternate Pearl had never fought at all. But she hadn’t needed to. Her Blue Diamond had just stepped away and let her go.

Pearl hadn’t been sure what to make of Steven Universe, the bearer of the Blue Diamond gem. Even after being given the explanation, it had seemed too ludicrous to be true. Suspicion had burned within her.

“Are you certain we are safe around… him?” Pearl had asked the Renegade, tripping over the strange pronoun.

The Renegade waved the question away. “Safe enough.”

That had reassured her somewhat. But the true reassurance had come from Steven Universe himself. Pearl had spent her entire life at Blue Diamond’s side, and knew she was no actress. This hybrid did things she never would have. Spoke to animals. Spent hours playing games and drawing pictures. Said ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ and apologized if he hurt someone.

Pearl watched him carefully, at every opportunity she had. Watched him at lessons, carefully listening to Alternate Pearls words. Watched him tear up from a sun burn, and then giggle as he let Alternate Pearl rub a soothing cream on his back. Watched him wrap his arms around Alternate Pearl and bury his face into her waist.

It should have been a relief, to know there was no Blue Diamond left in this timeline, that she had been replaced with someone so much better.

But watching such moments simply filled Pearl with another emotion, nameless and dark and painful.

* * *

Pearl spent much of her time in meetings with the Crystal Gems. They were not war meetings, as such, since there was no war going on. But they had the same atmosphere.

It was an exchange of information. Pearl gave them everything she knew about modern Homeworld— its politics, its technology levels, its size, its weaknesses. Every single scrap of information the Crystal Gems might be able to use in the defense of their planet. The Crystal Gems, in turn, listened carefully to her tales of her own attempted rebellion, each win, each tie, and especially, each loss. They gave her new perspectives, insight into what went wrong, and how it could go better.

Pearl wasn’t sure how much help either of them were to the other. After all, neither of them had been victorious. But it was all they had.

Never once did Pearl allow Steven Universe to sit in on the meetings. He may not have been Blue Diamond, but that did not mean she trusted him to know all her secrets and her tactics. Just in case.

She never let Alternate Pearl in either. Not when she’d surely just run and report everything she heard to her Owner.

* * *

Eventually the stories dried up, and there were no more discussions to be had.

Pearl found herself looking for ways to fill the time. The Renegade began to train her in combat— it was not a skill she’d ever had the opportunity to learn before. Garnet guided her in the basics of fusion. Rose Quartz invited her to help out in the gardens, tending to plants. Amethyst always encouraged her to ‘lighten up’, showing her around the planet and guiding her through human culture. Over time, Pearl improved at all of it.

It was enjoyable. Very much so. In fact, it was the most pleasant time she’d experienced in the entirety of her long life.

But it all felt aimless.

* * *

“I can give you a ship.”

The words came so suddenly, so startling, that Pearl nearly punched the speaker in the face.

Instead, she grabbed a hold of herself. Forced her face back into neutrality. Looked at Alternate Pearl right in her hidden-eyes and said, in her softest, most polite voice, “Pardon?”

“I can give you a ship,” Alternate Pearl repeated. “Blue Diamond left a number of Roaming Eyes for Steven’s use.”

“Why would you do that?”

“You do not want to be here.”

Pearl said nothing.

“You try to hide it,” said Alternate Pearl. “But I know what to look for. You’re anxious. You want to return to Homeworld. Finish what you set out to do.”

There was a long, long silence.

Finally, Pearl spoke. “Why do you care?”

“I—” began Alternate Pearl.

“You didn’t care when the Renegade offered you a place in the rebellion,” Pearl said, her voice rising for perhaps the first time in her entire life. “You evidently didn’t care after the Crystal Gems fell. You didn’t _let_ yourself care! You were too scared! Too selfish!“

“Maybe,” said Alternate Pearl. “But _I_ didn’t destroy our entire civilization.”

Cold fury rushed through her, all the colder because she knew it was true.

“How do you know these things? Who told you?” Pearl certainly hadn’t, after all. Had one of the Crystal Gems, after she’d deliberately asked them not to--

“No one,” said Alternate Pearl. “I am not _stupid_. I have ears, I have eyes. I have basic common sense. I would never be foolish enough to meddle with time, not unless I was truly, truly desperate. It’s a matter of simple deduction. The only thing that would drive you to it is if there was absolutely no other choice. You started a war that destroyed us all, and now you’ve come here to try and start it again.”

“Then why help me go back?” Pearl demanded, the words coming out hot and loud.

“For now Earth is a safe haven,” said Alternate Pearl, “but it will not be for forever. Homeworld will be expecting the Cluster to emerge, and when they come looking for it, they will find us. It is in all our interests that when the time comes, we have an ally on the inside.”

So even now, that Alternate Pearl was still motivated out of fear and selfishness.

But was that so different from her? When the Renegade offered a hand to her, had her mind been filled with lofty ideals?

No. There had been fear— fear of Blue Diamond and her punishments, but fear too, of being away from her, lost in the wilderness of a strange planet. And there had been anger, too, and resentment, and the savage thought of the satisfaction she’d feel, if she took everything from the ones who owned her.

Pearl told her alternate self, “Very well. Give me the ship.”

“I will,” said Alternate Pearl, “if you promise me something in return.”

Pearl balled her fists. She nearly snapped, _That wasn’t the deal!_

But there had not _been_ a deal. Alternate Pearl had simply said that she could provide a ship, not that she necessarily _would_.

A distant part of Pearl’s mind appreciated this tactic. Get somebody to want something you could give, and then use that desire to control them. It was one she herself had utilised on some of the less willing rebellion members.

Most of her mind was simply infuriated.

She refused to let that irritation show. Pearl said, “Tell me what you want.”

“To not harm Steven.”

“As long as he has no intention of harming myself or my cause, I have no intention of harming him.”

Alternate Pearl stepped forward, gave the smallest shake of her head. “That is not enough. You must ensure that in the chaos you will stir, he will not be caught in the crosshairs.”

Pearl pressed her lips together. There was no promising that. This alternate self did not understand: on a scale as grand as revolution, the safety of any one individual did not matter. Even— or perhaps, especially— the ‘child’ of a Diamond.

But she wanted that ship.

“I shall do all that that I can to protect him.”

“You had better,” the Alternate Pearl said, and though those words were soft, they reverberated with something so cold and deadly, they hardly seemed to belong to someone so sweet and delicate. “If you make those same mistakes this time, you will be putting Steven in danger. If that happens, then you will not have a chance to escape again. Because I will find you first. And any pain that was inflicted on him, I will inflict upon you, three times over.”

She could do it, Pearl realized. This other Pearl was her, and if Pearl herself was capable of it, then so was this reflection.

If the rebellion was what Pearl clung to, to keep herself whole, it seemed she had found what this Alternate Self’s anchor.

And for a moment, she wondered— wondered what it would be like to care about a single individual so deeply, to care about a _Diamond_ that deeply, to feel there was anyone deserving of such devotion—

But she pushed those thoughts away. They hardly mattered at the moment.

“I understand,” Pearl said.

There was a silence as the Alternate Pearl surveyed her. “Then you can have your ship.”

* * *

It was only a few short Earth days later when Pearl found herself in the cockpit, giving one last look over the equipment that would take her from the peaceful, wild beauty of Earth into the hostile, strict regime of Homeworld.

She could wait. There was nothing stopping her from taking a little more time, enjoying the freedom, the safety, a little longer. But no. Every moment she delayed, the more opportunities were lost. She would need to start reaching out to contacts, contacts who in this world, she’d never made. Build up a reservoir of informants, of safe houses, of intelligence. Begin to leverage the uncertainty that was no doubt brewing in Blue Diamond’s absence.

“You do not need to go, if you don’t want to,” Rose Quartz said.

“But I do.”

“It’ll be dangerous— an unowned Pearl, you’ll be so exposed—” the Renegade said.

“There are ways for a Pearl to blend in.”

“Yo, are you sure we don’t want us to come with ya? We can help keep ya safe!” Amethyst said.

“You would simply stand out.”

“But when the time comes, if you call for our help, we’ll come,” Garnet said.

“That is appreciated.”

Pearl had expected parting words from all of them. She had not expected Steven Universe to come too, hands buried deep in his pockets. After that first day, the two of them had barely exchanged a handful of words. The blue diamond gem was poking out, barely visible beneath his shirt.

“Be careful,” he said. “Just— try not to get hurt.”

“I will try,” Pearl promised, her voice much softer than she had expected.

To her surprise, the hybrid rushed forward and gave her a brief hug, before quickly backing away.

His body had been surprisingly soft and warm.

Everyone gave their goodbyes then, and Pearl watched as they all left the ship, looking back over their shoulders at her. Eventually the only two remaining was Pearl, and her alternate self.

“Go well,” Alternate Pearl said.

Pearl nodded.

Then she too left, and Pearl was left alone, to set off into the stars.


	5. Mother Knows Best [Non-Canon]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on the prompt: _What would Steeb have been like if Blue Diamond had been able to exist alongside him from the start?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for torture, emotional manipulation and abuse.

Steven wasn’t sure he’d ever been this excited in his life—not when he’d taken a family trip to Empire City, not the first time he’d summoned his weapon, not even his first flight into space. He was practically shaking in anticipation, rocking on the heels of his feet, and taking all his self control not to pester Mom with questions.

She smiled back at him fondly— but the smile retreated into something more neutral as she came to the end of the hallway.

“Now Steven,” she said, “Remember. This is a real Quartz warrior.”

“I know,” Steven said.

“And she was taught by traitors. I have done my best to re-train her, but you must still be on your guard for disobedience and treachery.”

“I know,” Steven repeated, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. Mom said that wasn’t Diamond-like.

So despite his excitement, he took a deep breath, stood straighter, and pulled his hoodie up over his head. Mom nodded at him, and together, they turned the corner to the containment hall.

Most of the cells were empty and inactive. There was a single cell which fizzed and hummed with the power of a light-barrier, and inside was the captured Crystal Gem.

Steven was… not very impressed.

The Amethyst was huddled in the corner of the cell, head tucked between her legs. When she heard the footsteps, however, she snapped to attention, standing as straight and tall as she could. Which… wasn’t much at all, really. All the holograms Pearl had made for him showed Quartzes as huge, imposing figures, but this Amethyst was tiny, shorter even than him.

Amethyst saluted. “My Diamond.”

Blue Diamond nodded. “Greetings. Today I have deemed you ready for the greatest honor you have received yet in your life: to meet my son, Steven Diamond Universe.”

Amethyst saluted again. “My Steven Diamond Universe.”

“Uh…” Steven said, pushing back a giggle at how silly that sounded. “Just call me ‘My Steven’.”

“My Steven,” Amethyst said, saluting again.

Mom launched into a briefing, informing Amethyst of all her duties and responsibilities. Steven only half-listened; most of his attention was focused on the Quartz. She was staring back at him, eyes huge and shiny, and Steven couldn’t read the emotions in them. He liked her outfit: it had a nice pretty blue diamond on its chest, framing her gem, and the rest of it looked kinda cute, with a frilly shirt and suspenders. More fun than the boring warrior uniforms he’d seen pictures of.

And this _was_ gonna be fun, right? A whole Gem of his very own! Not like Pearl, who he shared with Mom, but the first real member of _his_ court! She would protect him and follow him everywhere and they could talk with each other when they got bored. And yeah, she was kinda small, but so was he, and anyway, it made sense for a Gem to be smaller than their Diamond. Besides, Dad always said not to judge a book by its cover.

As soon as Mom finished her briefing, Steven stepped forward through the light field. It felt all funny and tingly on his skin.

Mom was shrieking and fussing in the background, all scared the Quartz would hurt him. But Amethyst didn’t look dangerous at all. In fact, she simply looked scared and awed, just like a Gem should when meeting their Diamond for the first time.

“Hi,” he said, holding out his palm. “C’mon. I have lots I wanna show you!”

Tentatively, Amethyst took his hand, and shook it.

* * *

Amethyst, Steven had decided, was awesome.

He’d spent the day taking her all around the Palanquin and the forests. She’d trailed behind him with huge eyes, nodding and smiling at everything he showed her.  Steven was pretty sure she was just happy to get out and stretch her legs. She’d been stuck in that cell for years, ever since he’d been just a baby. While he knew it was necessary, he figured it had to have been pretty boring too, so he was happy for the chance to guide her back into the real world.

(Always with Mom and Pearl watching carefully after them, just in case.)

When he got out his sketchpad, he invited Amethyst to draw too. She wasn’t as good as him, which she freely admitted. Steven consoled her by saying her style wasn’t _bad_ , just like Picasso's, and it turned out Amethyst had _met_ him, and she had lots of cool stories about the painter, and lots of other famous people from history.

When they had lunch, they didn’t have to put the garbage in the bin for their weekly trip to dispose of it in town, because she just ate all the good cans and wrappers!

Then he’d taken her to meet a bunch of his animal friends, and it was so cool that she could turn into any of them! Mom said shapeshifting wasn’t really an efficient use of power, unless it was absolutely necessary, like when she made herself small for cuddles and stuff, but allowed Amethyst to do it for his amusement. She could be a bird, or a crocodile, and even an elephant!

(If only for a little while, but that was okay. Steven knew how exhausting shapeshifting was).

Then Steven took her to Pink’s Palanquin.

That’s when things started to go wrong.

It started with the flowers, which were dotting the green landscape with pink. “They’re _Hibiscus syriacus_ ,” Steven told Amethyst, “aren’t they the prettiest?”

She shrugged. “They’re okay, I guess.”

Steven was a little annoyed by her dismissal, but wasn’t going to say anything— a person was entitled to their own opinions.

But then she added, in a small voice, “Roses are a lot nicer.”

Even though the countryside was still filled with rustling winds and bird songs, a dead silence seemed to fall upon them.

Mom spoke. “What did you say?”

Amethyst raised her eyes and looked at her, voice a little louder. “Roses are a lot nicer.”

Steven’s breath caught in his throat.

He’d never met Rose Quartz, the leader of the Crystal Gems. One day, Mom promised. But for now, she was too dangerous, too deadly—

And this Amethyst, daring to even refer to her, here, on the very ground where she had killed Pink—

— No, maybe it had been a mistake. Maybe roses really were just her favorite flower—

But Steven saw the Quartz’s curled fists, and knew that wasn’t true.

“Don’t say that,” Steven ordered.

Her eyes flashed. “Or what? It’s _true_. Rose was the nicest Gem ever. Way nicer than _you—_ ordering me around, pointing out every little thing like I’ve never seen like a chocolate bar or a hawk before—”

The anger bubbling up in Steven arced out in a bolt of blue lightning.

It stuck Amethyst square in her chest. She staggered back; her expression crumpled; tears welled in her eyes.

Steven staggered back too. He hadn’t meant to let the lightning out— he never did, it was just automatic. In his head, he started counting, just like Dad had told him:

 _10, 9, 8, 7_ …

Mom’s shadow loomed over the two of them, suddenly huge.

“ _Amethyst_ ,” Mom intoned, and she sounded like the queen she was. “You listen when your Steven speaks.”

Amethyst was shaking as she stared up at Blue Diamond. “He’s not— he’s not mine—”

Beneath the hood, Mom’s eyes narrowed, and a blue light spilled from her gemstone.

... _6_... _5_... _4_ …

“Such disobedience will not stand,” Blue Diamond declared.

Steven tried to finish his calming count, but was cut off by his mother’s voice: “Steven. She must be treated again.”

“W-what?”

“With the lightning,” Mom said.

Steven blinked at her, then at Amethyst, and then at his own hand. It was fritzing with blue static, barely visible in the daylight. The anger was still there— Amethyst’s rudeness, the casualness in which she called a murderer ‘nice’— but it was nothing like the pure emotion which had shot from him only moments before.

“But…” Steven said, “I’m not supposed to use lightning. Dad says I should keep it under control.”

“Yes. You cannot let the emotions rule you and hurt random bystanders whenever you are angered or frustrated.” Mom crouched down next to him, though in her current shape she still towered. “But the lightning can be a tool for purification.”

Steven glanced at Amethyst. She was shivering  all over.

He’d hit people with his lightning before— Dad, Mom and Pearl, mostly, always by mistake. It didn’t really do anything to Mom, but the others… It made him sad, Dad said. All worried and nervous and anxious.

Amethyst looked a lot more than anxious. She looked terrified.

“I think… I think I hurt her,” said Steven, taking a little step back.

“Yes,” said Blue Diamond. “You did. But remember when you found that lynx with an injured leg last month?” Cautiously, Steven nodded. “Its bones were misaligned. Pearl had to break them again.” Steven remembered the animal’s screams and desperate scratches. “It hurt, but it was necessary so the bones could re-heal…”

“...So they could be aligned properly,” Steven said, eyes still fixed on the shaking Amethyst.

Blue Diamond nodded. “This Amethyst is the same. The rebels hurt her mind. She must be cleansed. She must realize her affection for them is a lie, and her only true loyalty is to you.”

Amethyst’s eyes were wet, tears running down her cheeks, and she was shaking her head—

“I know,” Blue Diamond said softly, gently pulling Steven closer to her with one of her large hands. “It is a heavy burden that has been laid at your feet, as it has at mine and Yellow’s and White’s. What we do is not easy, but it is _needed_. For the safety and security of all Gems, we must be willing to guide them, for their own good. Even if a heavy hand is sometimes needed.”

“Okay,” Steven said slowly, “I understand.”

He closed his eyes. He thought about the Amethyst’s disobedience, her rudeness. He felt something bubbling up from within him: his frustrations in how she’d acted out after he’d thought they were friends—  _“Rose Quartz is way nicer than you”—_  memories of Pink’s shattering repeating over and over, Rose Quartz’s face twisted into something vile as she drove her sword through, Pink Diamond’s scream...

Amethyst screamed too, when the lightning hit her the second time that day.

But it would make her better, Steven told himself.

He would make her better.


	6. Photo Album [Canon]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on the prompt: What if Amethyst found pictures of BD in her pregnancy and baby pictures of Steven on the mission Rose sent her and showed them to Rose?
> 
> This one-shot is in continuity with Faded Blue proper, and is set approximately around Chapter 11: Prisoner. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Rose Quartz was pacing in her room, the clouds constantly shifting into vague indistinct shapes,  when Amethyst finally arrived back.

“Did you find anything?” Rose asked, voice sharper than usual.

“ _Tons_.” Amethyst started digging into her dress, throwing an assortment of Mr. Universe’s possessions onto the soft ground. A human telephone; a computer; a map of the Earth marked with various Gem locations. “Seems like he’s been using this stuff to talk with BD, his Pearl, and water-lady. Figured I better snatch ‘em so he can’t go sneakin’ behind our backs.”

Rose nodded. “How did he use that in the spying?” she asked, as Amethyst pulled out a plastic bag.

“Oh, nothing. I was just hungry.” In response, she pulled out a box of granola bars and started chewing on it. Through a full mouth she managed, “All thi-invesvigaching-stu’iff’ _hard._ ”

Rose Quartz sighed, picking up the phone. She turned it around in her hand. Mr. Universe had briefly shown her how it worked, but he hadn’t been very clear in his instructions (and now she knew why). She poked at the screen and buttons cautiously, afraid of breaking it. Eventually it lit up, showing all manner of mysterious icons in front of a pretty background photograph of the beach. There was probably some way to access pictures, or communication history, or maybe even secret recordings, but Rose certainly had no idea how.

“Oh. And I found this,” Amethyst said, cutting her investigation off by shoving a thick book into Rose’s free hand.

This wasn’t one of the novels Mr. Universe was fond of reading. It was larger and broader, with a thick, plain cover. It had a little lock built into its side, to keep it closed; it had been chewed off. Inside were plastic sheets which held photographs. Not the new ‘digital’ kind humans had become so fond of, but the ones printed directly onto paper. The first couple of pages were mostly landscape scenes: hillsides, forests, an assortment of human cities. Beyond that…

Rose’s brow furrowed as she flipped through.

Pictures of Blue Diamond. Not the magnificent murals or other depictions so common on Homeworld. Casual shots, of her lying on the grass, or drawing, or covered in a flock of birds. In others, she was tiny, at least by a Diamond’s standards. Only a head taller than Mr. Universe, often standing next to him, arm wrapped around his shoulder. Shape-shifted. To be _small_.

Picture after picture of Blue Diamond, one of Homeworld’s four matriarchs (three, now), posing and smiling with a human.

“No, not those, they’re boring,” Amethyst said, reaching up on tippy-toes to see. She had no context to realize how important they truly were. “Go to uh, page five, that’s where they get _good_.”

Obediently, Rose flipped.

If Blue Diamond had been small before, it was nothing compared to her size in this photograph: held in the Blue Pearl’s arms, reaching up at nothing, wearing nothing but a diaper. If not for the blue gemstone glittering at her chest, you would never know it was her.

“Look,” Amethyst giggled. “Her arms are like _sausages_.”

The comparison wasn’t entirely inaccurate. Rose smiled, just briefly.

The photographs continued in that fashion. Pictures of a small Blue Diamond in a bathtub, at the park, eating cake, on a donkey’s back. They were arranged in vaguely chronological order, though the only way to truly tell was Mr. Universe’s greying hair and receding hairline. Gradually the Blue Diamond transformed until she looked nearly identical to the form she wore now.

… No. Not Blue Diamond. She-- he-- called himself Steven now.

Rose Quartz closed the book with a snap.

“So? What now?” asked Amethyst.

“We keep watching him, in turns. We’ll see if we can figure out what Mr. Universe has been telling Blue Diamond’s court through these devices. And this…” she held out the photo album, “you had better return.”

“What? Don’t ya need it?” Amethyst said, with confusion and slight offense.

“You did very well bringing it to me,” said Rose. “But I’ve seen it now. We can review it at length.” In response, a nearby cloud transformed into an identical copy of the book with a _poof_. “But… it’s not harming anyone. It’s private, I think. We shouldn’t have it.”

Amethyst raised an eyebrow, then shrugged. “If ya say so.”


	7. Homesick [Canon]

Monster attacks were a fairly regular occurrence in Beach City, one which the locals were able to just shrug off, but after nearly a year of living there, Greg Universe did not think he’d ever, _ever_ be able to consider it as something that was just ‘normal’.

Still, he had gotten used to the routine of it. It rarely got actively dangerous. The Crystal Gems had every attack well in hand, and usually managed to defeat any monster in a matter of hours, tops.

… this one wasn’t a regular attack.

It was ginormous, and spat flame, and three cars had already been destroyed. Every single human had already fled half an hour ago, and the only reason Greg hadn’t gone with them was because of his dogged determination to follow Blue’s wishes and observe her enemies as closely as he could. Never knew when or how the Crystal Gems might reveal something critical to his son's survival. 

What _also_ wasn’t normal? The giant mystery Gem who showed up out of nowhere, and managed to destroy the monster with a single arrow.

There were only supposed to be four Crystal Gems. _Four_. Just that many was already terrifying enough. And now it turned out there were _more_ of them?

As soon as Greg was certain it was safe, he scrambled out of his hiding place in the shallows, running up to the Crystal Gems. Garnet was putting out a fire that had caught on the boardwalk by rolling over it, while Rose Quartz was speaking with the mystery woman, congratulating her on a job well-done.

“Uh. Hi,” Greg said, wringing water out of his hair. “Thanks, for, uh, saving us?”

The Mystery Woman glanced down at him. Her eyes widened, and her proud smile turned into a slightly-predatory grin. “Mr. Universe!”

“...How do you know my name?”

The Gem’s grin spread wider. “Can’t you recognise me?”

Greg was pretty sure he’d recognise a giant, four-armed woman with a light bow. “Uh, no.”

The Gem laughed.

“Oh, Opal, stop teasing him,” Rose giggled. At least now Greg knew her name. “Mr. Universe, this is Opal. Amethyst and Pearl’s fusion.”

“...Fusion?”

An explanation followed. The whole idea was alien and ridiculous, but Greg managed to take it in stride. Not just because now that’d he’d been told he recognised both Gems’ features in Opal’s sharp face, or because he’d gotten used to the fantastical over the last twenty-odd years. But because, now that he thought of it, he did vaguely recall Blue mentioning something like this. It had been brief, only in passing, and Blue hadn’t seemed to think it was important, so he’d never pressed--

But this seemed pretty important to him.

Gems could just… _combine_ like that? How did it happen? Was it accidental? Did it hurt? Could it be reversed? What happened to the people inside? Did they remember who they were? Did they have any control over themselves?

… Could this happen to Steven?

“How does it work?” Greg asked, but both Opal and Rose Quartz just laughed.

Opal didn’t stick around much longer. With a flash, she was gone, replaced by Amethyst sitting atop Pearl’s head. While Greg was, admittedly, relieved to know it wasn’t permanent, he kinda wished Pearl hadn’t had to come back.

Rose Quartz set off with Garnet to tend to any immediate dangers, and Greg took off after Amethyst, figuring she was his best bet for getting any explanation for what had just happened. Unfortunately, she was in one of her Kid Moods-- distracted, deliberately giving silly answers, doing her best to annoy him.

Greg wouldn’t give up that easily, though.

“Does it only work with Gems, or humans too?” he asked. After all, if it was only with Gems, it was probably okay-- Pearl, _their_ Pearl, would be sure to take care of Steven no matter what, he was sure. But if Steven could accidentally fuse with a random human… that might be trouble.

Someone laughed at his question, high and mocking. Pearl. The rude one.

“Don’t be stupid,” she said. “Fusion is the most profound connection between Gems. And humans. Are not. _Gems_.”

Greg sighed, and resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

“Besides,” Pearl said, twirling around him like an extremely obnoxious ballerina, “even if humans _could_ fuse, it wouldn’t matter.”

Greg was very much aware that Amethyst was sitting on the ground, munching on some charred sand, watching this whole exchange with rapt interest. He ground out, “What do you mean by that?

Pearl came very close. “You’re just a phase.”

“... what?”

“You don’t even _know_ Rose,” Pearl said, and Greg realised what she was talking about. “Your life is but a fleeting snowflake, bound to melt when the sun rises. You don’t have the _deep bond_ necessary to accomplish such profound magic with her.”

“Right,” Greg said. He knew he should probably be doing more to actually act offended, but he just didn’t have the energy.

“In fact,” Pearl continued, taking on an even more innocent tone, “you don’t have the deep bond necessary with _anyone_ , do you? Living alone in your van, barely even interacting with humans, spending all your free time with us…”

“Shove off, Pearl,” Greg said, and _pushed her away_.

She let out a surprised, indignant squawk, and for a terrifying moment, Greg was afraid he was going to have a spear plunged into his chest.

But Pearl just laughed, and flounced away.

Amethyst scrambled to her feet, glancing between him and the other Gem. Finally she took off after Pearl, calling back, “See you round, Mr. Universe!”

Greg stood there, breathing very heavily, pushing back against the prickling in his eyes. Finally, he shook himself, and trudged off for van, hoping it hadn't been burned to a crisp in the attack.

He missed Korea. He missed home.

He missed his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another piece from our fic writing stream! This one based on the prompt: "Greg meeting a fusion for the first time (besides Garnet)." This one is in-continuity with the main story, taking place about a year before the story started.


	8. Sitting in a Tree (Non-Canon)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another side-story, to make up for the slight delay in our regular posting schedule. This one is non-canon, but if it _was_ canon, it'd be somewhere around chapter 37.

Steven was sitting at the RV’s table, his sketchpad out as he he was drawing his latest project; character studies of residents of Beach City. He’d already done a few: Buck, Jenny, and Ronaldo had been his first, followed by Onion and his mom Vidalia… He was now trying to on who to do next, when he heard a hesitant series of knocks at the door. He hopped out of his seat and went to the door, opening it to find a flustered looking Connie.

“Hey, Connie,” he asked easily. “Is… something wrong?”

Connie gulped before she answered, “Sort of? Maybe? I dunno…”

Steven stepped aside, gesturing inwards. “Well, do you want to come in? We can talk, if you want?”

Connie nodded numbly as she walked up the steps into the RV. Steven shut the door behind her and indicated towards one of the seats in the kitchen. But Connie didn’t take any. Instead, she was pacing and looking at the ground.

“So,” Steven began, not sure at all where to begin. “Um… What’s up?”

Connie looked up at him, her lips thinning before she finally answered. “I had a dream last night.”

“Oh?” Steven asked, feeling a little relieved that it wasn’t anything more. “What kind of dream?”

“I dreamed that I was being chased by a Gem monster. And no one else was around, so I ran.” She shook her head as she looked back at the ground. “I ran and _ran_ , but the monster was just about to get me before… Before I was saved by Amethyst.”

Steven blinked. “Well, that seems kinda cool. Have you told Amethyst?”

Connie’s gaze shot back to him. “No! Are crazy after what- what happened at the end of the dream…”

“What happened at the end?”

The corners of Connie’s mouth tightened as her cheeks flooded with color. “Amethyst and I… we sorta… might have…” She clamped her eyes shut tight. She spoke in the smallest voice possible, “She… kissed me.”

Several moments of silence fell across the RV.

“Oh,” Steven intoned blankly.

Connie opened her eyes again, but still kept them firmly planted on the floor. “I… I think I have a crush on Amethyst…”


	9. Aunt [Canon]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After sharing her first meal with Steven Diamond Universe, Rose Quartz reflects on the situation she finds herself in.
> 
> (In-Canon, set just after 'Together Breakfast')

Rose Quartz stood on the hilltop, staring across the human town of Beach City at the small van tucked in the shadow of Mr. Universe’s car wash. She was shivering, shaken to her core by a storm of emotions she could scarcely begin to identify. 

That was the trouble with emotions. They were all so tricky.

Foremost: Inside that van was sleeping Steven Diamond Universe.

Not Blue Diamond. No more Blue Diamond than Rose Quartz was Pink Diamond.

Maybe… maybe even less so. Rose, after all, remembered all her life as Pink Diamond, however much she wished she did not have to. Steven… Steven truly did not seem to remember anything. Not the slightest sign. And his personality was different too. Yes, Rose still saw flickers of Blue in him— the way she would hold her head, or the thoughtful shadows in her eyes, that close attention to aesthetics— but there were so many things wholly new. Blue Diamond had never giggled with a quartz in a shapeshifting contest, or gotten upset about shattering Gems, or shaken Rose’s hand… 

So. Blue Diamond was truly gone, or changed so radically she might as well have been.

Rose’s stomach twisted at that. She… she had never expected to see Blue again, wasn’t sure if she'd ever really wanted to… but she hadn’t wanted her _gone_. She’d always hoped, or dreamed— that maybe someday she could prove to her— prove to all of them that— That there was a better way. That she was right. 

Well. She could do that now, couldn’t she?

This new Blue, this Steven, he was so young! He barely knew anything about Homeworld or Earth! Rose could teach him so much! About plants and animals and shapeshifting and being wholly and unabashedly yourself! They could be—

Family.

The human word popped up automatically in her mind, surprising her a bit. On Homeworld, the Diamonds had certainly been kin. Kin meaning 'similar', not family. Most certainly not family. Not in the way they’d treated her, not with all those times she’d spent crying and furious in her room, ignored, forgotten, avoided.

Well, that would be different now. Rose Quartz would be better family— a better ‘aunt’— than Blue or Yellow or White had ever been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AKA: "The scene we would have included if we'd known who Rose was six months ago."


	10. Totally Serious Crossover Conversations (Non-Canon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Over on Tumblr we got some asks regarding what a crossover between the current timeline of Faded Blue (e.g. Chapter 41) with canon's current timeline (e.g. immediately post A Single Pale Rose) would look like. While there wasn't enough there to get a full, concrete story going, we did generate some silly hypothetical conversations where Canon Steven completely breaks this alternate universe using all the information he now has...
> 
> For full context, [go here,](https://teamfadedblue.tumblr.com/post/174523539450/you-know-i-cant-help-but-wonder-what-kind-of) but otherwise, read ahead!

**Pearl:**  But– another timeline, where Rose had a baby?! This makes no sense!

**Steven:**  No, makes lots of sense. Like, alternate universe where my Mom was different. Sure. And she was Blue Diamond. I mean, why not? Dad apparently is just Gem Casanova. As least Blue Diamond wasn’t a gigantic liar, eh, Pink Diamond?

[ _Rose and Pearl gasps_ ] 

**Steven:**  Sorry, I meant ‘Mom’.

* * *

**Steven:**  Alright, everyone. Here we go. Garnet– you don’t need to know everything that’s going to happen, and you can open up emotionally to your friends. Pearl– we all value you as someone super smart, hardworking and kind, so you don’t have to over compensate because you think we think you’re just a Pearl. Also, get better at how you phrase things. Amethyst– nobody hates you because you’re from Kindergarten, and the way you bury your feelings is super unhealthy.   
  
**Everyone:**  ….  
  
**Steven:**  There. That’s like, 7 traumatic experiences, out of the way.

* * *

**Steven:**  Lapis, don’t leave Earth, okay?  
  
**Lapis, raising a confused eyebrow:** Okay.  
  
**Steven:**  And don’t fuse with Jasper   
  
**Lapis:**  Why… why would I fuse with a Jasper?  
  
**Amethyst:** Maybe he means Biggs? Isn’t she a Jasper?  
  
**Lapis:**  What?? Why would I fuse with a corrupted gem? Who does that?

* * *

[ _Steven and Blue Pearl awkwardly stare at one another_ ]

**Steven:**  Uh… sorry. I… don’t know you. Or, I’ve seen you, but we’ve never really talked…

**Bloop:** You’re not my baby!!!

[ _Steven flinches, looks genuinely hurt. Bloop hesitates_ ]

**Bloop:** I’m sorry. That was… unfair. You didn’t ask to be in this position anymore than my Ste– our Steven. This must be very uncomfortable for you also. 

* * *

**Steven, watching Amethyst and Connie playing together, giggling:**  What the f–

* * *

**Steven:** [ _hugs Greg_ ]

**Greg:** [ _hugs him back_ ]

* * *

**Steven:**  Excuse me, I’m heading off with Peri now.  
  
**Peridot:** What? What are we doing?  
**  
Steven:** I’m taking your limb enhancers, and going to live with you in a barn with a TV for a week.

* * *

**Rose:** Oh… oh my. My own– my own child! Do you know how long I’ve wanted a human child?! 

**Steven:**  Probably the first time you realised the kids in your human zoo were people?

[ _Rose’s face falls._ ]

**Rose:** You know about Pink Diamond’s Human Zoo?

**Steven:** Oh, yeah. I found out about that one when Blue Diamond came from space to put Dad in there.

**Rose:**  Blue did  _what_ – 

**Steven:**  But at least she was trying to save Dad, I guess. I wonder, is that what Pink Diamond wanted too?  
  
**Rose:**  I’m sure that… Pink Diamond… had her reasons…

**Steven** : Growing up, I looked up to you so much. I wanted to be you. But now I know what you were really like. How could you do all those things you did to your friends?! How could you do that to Bismuth?? To  _Pearl_?


	11. Old Hologram [Non-Canon]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exploring Blue Diamond's ship, Steven finds a message from his mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, something a little different this time. 
> 
> In Chapter 44 of Faded Blue (Hologram), we mentioned that it was one of the earliest scenes we wrote for the story, over a year ago. It went through a lot of extensive re-writing, but we did save a copy of the first draft we had. We thought it might be interesting to post that here, and give some insight into just how much changed. Hope you all enjoy!

The ship was huge. That was his main line of thought has he wandered through the ships over large halls. Everything towered over him. The walls, the windows, what little there was in the way of art. It made him feel tiny.

Steven knew he should have waited for Pearl to return from the Palanquin, but… his curiosity had gotten the better of him and Steven had gone in before Pearl had gotten back. Steven hadn’t thought he’d be able to, but the ship had responded to him fairly easily, opening its hatch as he approached without any kind of button or command to be used.

The inside of the ship was… blue. Very blue, and very sparse. Flat walls, tubes of vary sizes moving up and down the ceiling. It looked like a lot of Homeworld engineering, though to be honest Steven was a little unimpressed. This was supposed to be a Diamond’s personal flagship. Surely it deserved more spectacle then this? Gold and murals and chandeliers and stuff?

Surely there was a hint of Mom somewhere among its halls?

He continued down the hall, ignoring the doors he passed as he didn’t want to risk getting turned around or lost. His ignoring of door’s however soon led him to the end of the hall, at which there was a massive door, that stretched from the floor all the way to the ceiling. Steven stared at the door for sometime before his eyes wandered over to the control pad next to it. He stepped towards it, but before he could do anything, there was a sound and the door opened up on its own.

 _The ship listens to me. I barely have to do anything,_ Steven thought to himself.

He stepped past the threshold and found himself in what he thought must have been a cockpit of some sort. Dozens of seat lined the outside of the are, each one having their own screen. And in the center of the of the room was a throne, of a build and size similar to the one at the Palanquin.

“That’s where Mom sat…” Steven walked over to the seat and thought about climbing onto to, but reconsidered. He needed to get back outside so that he could meet up with Pearl. He gave one last lingering look at the throne, his thoughts on his growingly mixed feelings for his mother, before he began walking away.

However stopping him in his tracks was a buzzer. He quickly turned around and saw that one of the consoles had grown bright and before he could move closer, it shot shone a bright light at him. Slowly tracing his form. As it hit his chest, he could feel an odd sensation from his gem.

“Identity confirmed. Blue Diamond.”

The light blinked away instantly and for a moment, Steven thought that was all, but another robotic sounding voice sounded from the machine.

“One: most recent log. Title: ‘For Steven’.”

Steven felt his mouth drop a little. A log. _From Mom_. And it was for him. He knew he should just let be, that he should go back outside and wait for Pearl and maybe they could watch the message together.

But… it was titled ‘For Steven’. Surely that meant it was only for him, right? He wasn’t sure. Before he fully knew what he was doing, Steven found himself slowly saying, “Play most recent log.”

The console was silent before it flashed brightly again. Though this time it didn’t direct its light at Steven but instead it projected it in front of him, towering over him. The light was various shades of blue with dashes of white but it seemed to be taking some sort of shape, a humanoid one and one that looked almost—

“Mom!”

Steven realized all at once that the figure before him was none other than his own mother, Blue Diamond. As he gaped openly at her wonder, she thought that she looked just like her pictures.

Well, almost.

What hadn’t been in any pictures, at least not that Steven had seen, was her hugely pregnant belly. Judging by that alone, this had to have been recorded shortly before he was born. And shortly before Mom was gone.

Mom looked down at him with a neutral, passive expression, before that broke and she smiled gently at him.

“Hello, Steven.” She spoke softly, her voice like a musical note. Just like Dad had always described it. “You’re… you’re watching this now? Aren’t you?” She laid a hand on top of her swollen belly. “That means you’ve gotten back into the ship on your own accord. So your powers are developing… Good. I’m proud of you, Steven.”

Steven smiled wildly back at her. “Thanks, Mom…”

“I knew that you would come here one day, Steven,” Mom went on. “The universe, it’s… it’s full of such wonder and life. On this planet alone there is so much life and it just _lives_ . Day in and day out. You’ll be a part of that, Steven. And that is… so _wonderful_. You’ll be a part of that more than I ever could be and… that’s exciting to think about.”

Steven didn’t say anything, _couldn't_ really say anything. He was just enraptured by his mother.

“But Steven, even though you will be a part of it, you must always remember something.”

Steven nodded vigorously. He knew she couldn’t see him, couldn’t hear him, but still he spoke to her: “Yeah. What is it, Mom? Tell me what I—”

“You are a _Diamond_ , Steven. It is your destiny to lead.”

Steven felt his bright smile begin to melt away. “My… destiny?”

“You were born on Earth as a human, but you are of Homeworld and of the Diamonds. So you are a part of them, but _better_ than them. Above them.”

Steven felt his mouth begin tremble as he took a step back. “No… No, I’m not…”

“That’s what you must do. Gather your strength here, secure Earth from those rebels, and then return to _our_ Homeworld, to take up your rightful place among your fellow Diamonds.”

Steven began shaking his head. “No… no, no, no!”

Blue Diamond took a step closer to him and lowered her hood, revealing her full face. She was still smiling, though it no longer looked sweet and inviting, but rather sinister and taunting.

“This is your destiny, Steven. To be better than them. To be better than _me_. And you will be able to do it. I know you will.”

The hologram of Blue Diamond lingered for a moment, before disappearing all at once, leaving Steven completely alone.

Steven looked at the ground, unable, or unwilling, to believe what he had just seen.

It was true, it was all true. What the Crystal Gems had told him about his mother, what he had _seen_ himself.

It was all true.

“She… she…” Steven couldn’t even finish the thought. He looked at his hands, as if making sure they were as he remembered, when he saw the cuff of his hoodie. His blue hoodie that he thought made him look like his mother. Like a Diamond.

A wave of disgust flooded through him and Steven tore the hoodie off and threw it to the ground. He collapsed onto his knees, crying into his hands.

“It’s true… It’s true…”

Steven heard footsteps echo behind him, followed by a voice calling his name.

“Steven? Are you here?”

Steven wanted to call out to Pearl, but he couldn’t. The sobs were too much, robbing him of his ability to talk. But the footsteps drew closer and he heard a much more prominent exclamation. “Steven! Are you alright?”

Pearl rushed over to him and bent down next to him. She put a hand on his shoulder and before she could ask any more questions, Steven turned and wrapped her in the tightest hug he could manage.

“Pearl… Pearl… I—” It was all he could get out, despite his desire to want to tell her everything.

But Pearl, as she always did, seemed to know exactly how to respond. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” she soothed as she drew her fingers through Steven’s hair. “Sweetie. It’s okay. We’re both here, together now.”

Steven nodded, the side of his face pressed against Pearl’s chest. It wasn’t okay, of course. The last hope he had for his mother had been whittled away to nothing. But they were together, as they had been his whole life.

And there was comfort to be had there.  


**Author's Note:**

> Follow us on Tumblr [right here](http://teamfadedblue.tumblr.com).


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